Seems the police here are desparately short of crimes to solve. Either they're too good at solving them (has a good ten minute laugh at such a preposterous idea) or the criminal fraternity has given them a few days off, just because, deep down, our criminals are just a jolly nice bunch of guys after all.
Surely this isn't going to be that difficult to solve for Scotland Yard's finest!!!!
(Whispers - I wouldn't bet on it.)
Not content with giving folks a hand, our government want to extend to Arms......ok, maybe not.
It said 250 cartridges of tear gas and other riot control equipment had been licensed for export to the Gulf state within the past nine months.
But minister Alistair Burt said there was no evidence UK teargas was used in the military crackdown on protesters.
No evidence eh???? Well, none that we could see. "Probably shuffled underneath something, I only glanced at the paperwork m'lud".
So our beloved government are URGENTLY reviewing the fact that we sold some teargas which could well have breached human rights!!!!!!
Oh, com'on. Seriously. What!! Were they buying the stuff so that people could put them on their mantelpieces and admire our British handiwork????
Of course they're going to be used - duh!!
AND it's a bit late to be reviewing it anyway. They've already got the stuff, and most likely used it as well.
Oh, but of course, we wouldn't want to be seen supplying arms eh??? Not our thing. Not cricket really.
Might as well give them legs and feet as well (the police here seem to have a surplus of trainers - see above). So they can run a mile when they get caught.
On this day
1676 - Kings Charles II & Louis XIV sign secret treaty (erm, it ain't no secret cause we know about it!!)
1924 - Johnny Weissmuller sets 100-yard freestyle record (52.4 seconds) - (Good ol Tarzan)
1962 - Beach Boys introduced a new musical style with their hit "Surfin"
1967 - Beatles release "Penny Lane" & "Strawberry Fields"
1972 - British Parliament votes to join European Common Market
1979 - China invades Vietnam
1968 - Molly Ringwald (Ahhh, Pinkie)
1964 - Matt Dillon
1954 - John Travolta
1950 - Cybill Shephard (still Moonlighting I see)
1933 - Yoko Ono (Oh No, really)
1925 - George Kennedy
1919 - Jack Palance
Oh common. Give me some interesting deaths to report (at least that someone's heard of)