Friday, 25 May 2012

Funny news - Happy Days

Happy as Larry

First DC Comics announce that a Superhero is to come out of the closet, and now Marvel has a X-man ready to embrace his new man (who will be the man in the relationship then?).  Or does Marvel simply want to be top man?

No use beating themselves around the bush. Get it out and stand tall and be proud.

Gee, that's a hard one!

Lolo Jones (good name) is finding it hard to remain a virgin, and all joking aside, it's something to be proud of these days, but guys, guys, guys.  Really???  If she has sex with you she would run faster??

Pleeeeaase, have some originality won't you?  How about, you have my go-go juice then you will go-go quicker??

Anyway, I'm sure if she ran away from all the men who wants to have sex with her, she'd have broken the land speed record by now.

No Flies on You

Golly. Strict regime indeed.  Pity the poor cleaners.  Not only do they have to make the public loos spotless, they then have to take time to count how many flies there are.

"One.....two....oh bugger, must start again.  One.....damn (swats five with newspaper). Wight......One..."
And they regulate adverts in toilets, saying they must not obstruct functionality and have to be legal, reports the Beijing Times.
Adverts obstruct funtionality????  Whats this????  A person dressed up in a bunny suit handing out pamplets in the loo getting in the way of  dare I ak what?????

Naked pictures of ladies advertising the latest fragrance of underarm deoderant??  How does that obstruct functionality???  Stops a man having a poo????

One (Red) Tape stops Another

Only in England.  With the celebration of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee soon to be upon us, the town council of Burnham-on-Sea (in Somerset) have been refused permission to hang buntings as apparently, the lamp posts which the buntings are to be tied, haven’t yet been stress-tested to see if they can carry the weight.

As you can see in the picture (right), heavy they are not.

BUT, due to the health and safety laws, sadly they will not be seen dangling from up high.  Any other country wouldn’t bother to ask, and hang them anyway.  

Score one for the jobsworth.

Please Don't Win

It's that time of year folks, oh yes. Where songs are sung, and the point scoring is anything but fair.

The UK's entrant welcomes Englebert Humperdinck back to the stage where at a sprite old age of 76, he will be belting out 'Love will set you free'.

However, with the winning country having to host the following year's show, and with esculating costs this annual show takes to produce, it's hardly any wonder that countries have resorted to 'no-hopers' being chosen to represent them.  Ireland staked their claims using Jedward last year and suceeded when they came nowhere.  Such a unrivalled success that Ireland has decided to resort to similar tactics this year and guess who's representing them this year...........yep, Jedward again. 

Spain has made it known they don't want to win, Ireland obviously don't want to win.  We (the UK) has an old-age-pensioner rallying the troops so that's us out.  Is this the way that the Eurozone should emulate??

By the way, rumour has it that Sweden's buggered as they have the favourite.

Thought of the Day

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

1 comment:

  1. *wipes tears of my face*
    Thanx! Ab's sends their gratitude ;-)

    Let's hope we (sweden) does not win this year. Might go bankrupt, haha.

    Now, I am off to hug a tree ;-)