Friday, 15 June 2012

Funny News

Anywhere, anyhow, anytime

Anywhere by name, and by the sound of things, by nature too!!

Her husband, Bright (who obviously isn't), has accepted the baby as if it were his own.

And he believes his wife's word that she only had just the one, one-night stand, which resulted in the baby.  Apparently they've been trying for ages and, after a quick "wham-bam thank you ma'am" roll in the sack, I mean office, all's well with the world.

Hmmm, I'm just interested in what they've named the baby.  Thoughts anyone??

Splash the Cash

My Yost - Jammy Beggar
Well, someone did, and forunately for a certain Mr Timothy Yost, a homeless man who happened upon it whilst walking in the park looking to wash his feet.

He was only dragged in by police when he tried to exchange the damp money, by a bank clerk when Mr Yost attempted to exchange it for some dry money.  Those darn bank clerks know how to spoil a party don't they.

Still, it now transpires he can keep the cash, all $77,000, jammy beggar, but I'm sure you'll all be glad to know that he is no longer homeless.

Those kindly souls at the police station decided he could stay in one of their cells............for public intoxication and criminal trespass. 

Gotta go wash my feet now.

Dying for some relief

Well, here you go folks.  Enjoy the pictures.

Stand up and be counted men

Following on from the toilet fails, I think this is no time to take the subject sitting down - us men have to be firm and remain upstanding for the duration of the interval, be it in the bathroom, or wherever the need takes you.

It seems that the Swedes (bless their cotton socks) are now wishing for men to take a load off their feet when in the little boys room.
Male representatives on the Sormland County Council in Sweden should sit rather than stand while urinating in office restrooms, according to a motion advanced by the local Left Party. Known as a socialist and feminist organization, the party claims that seated urination is more hygienic for men
You know, this just gives me the shakes.

I'm just here for the Ride!!

The Sex Guru
It seems that Americans are pretty ignorant....pretty much about everything.  However, the two main subjects it appears is sex and giving money away needlessly.

Enter Eric Amaranth, sex guru for those too gullible, I mean, sexually-unaware couples, to help them obtain for want of a better phrase, help in which to get it on (or get it off, or have it off or whatever).  Let's face it, he's not backward when coming.....errr forward.

He will coach you with on the job plays.  Guide you with a firm hand, and join in with the aftermath celebrations.

The guys a genius, and in homage to the man, I shall likewise offer my services to the masses here in the UK.  But let's not get overcome with sentimentality.

£50 and I'm anyones!!

Thought for the Day

(For Americans) If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?

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