Funny News - 11 June 2012

Holiday Destinations Anyone??

Match made in heaven

Well, I guess this twinning towns, cities and what-have-yous marlarky has now come up with a rather appropriate pair.

Hey, You're Dull.  Yeah, well you're Boring.

Sadly, it's true, after the US town of Boring has agreed to become a 'sister community' to Dull of Scotland (and there's no truer word been said of Scotland).

Are these 'communities' THAT sad that they have to further highlight it by twinning??

The lights are on folks but.............!!! 

Seriously????

Wait a second - you have a man who's acting somewhat out of the ordinary (and a mite tad crazy I hasten to add) and what would you do???

Thats right - make off like there's no tomorrow.

But hey, no can do.  This 55 year old woman wasn't having any of that, no siree.  She made sure she could keep an eye on him (just to make sure that he was doing all these weird and wonderful things) so that she could report the man, god bless her.

Didn't offer any loo-paper to him though?  Tight ass!!


 Dog-Gone

Well, not gone but rescued no least. Hoorah!

But what strikes me about the whole sorry affair is this.

Wife (in lounge sending hubby an email): "Honey. I see theres a dog outside running away with a jug on it's head.  He doesn't have much hope left. We gotta help him sweetie"

Husband (likewise emailing in return from the living room laptop): "Doggone sugar - I'll just issue an all-pointer on Facebook.  I'm sure that theres some real people who know what the outside world looks like can be better placed to help the poor critter"

Wife (in second email): "Oh honey.  You're so brave and quick thinking - I love you"

Hubby (using an iPad): "Damn right gorgeous - now get over to this World of Warcraft and swing that mighty axe of yours pumpkin-cheeks"

Wibbley Wobble Wheelchairs Batman

So, Raymound Kulma was drunk in charge of  a stolen wheelchair eh folks??

Ok - Look at his record:

Not Mr Kulma

7th OWI (Operating While Intoxicated/Impaired) charge since 1984
Licence suspended 4 times
Licence revoked 2 times
No valid licence since 1993

(And no, his name isn't James Bond)

BUT....

Chief Faber told WDIV Raymond wasn't just drunk, he was really drunk

Wow, I guess that MUST have wheelie made a difference then folks??

Gap Year

Well, thats just the opinion of those who actually take a GAP year and those wonderous tourists spot who benefit BUT...

consider the parents who have to shelf out the money for the little blighters to get away as the kids most likely leave behind a destruction, mass pillaging, sexual degradations and several law authorities trailing in their wake after school's finished.

No wonder they'll happy to go away for a year. 

A Lapse of Memory

Just look at the photo in the article.  No, look carefully.  That pensioner was damn luck to get away with £2,000 for police to winch the car out.

Pity the poor diver who the car managed to run over (the flipper on the roof).  May he rest in pieces!




Transplanted Tickets

Well, well, well.  Obviously that patient was over-estimating their chances of recovery from an op (parking in the short-stay car park).

A typical comment from the firm overseeing the car park;

"Our terms and conditions are clearly explained at ticketing machines"

But I do like the cryptic comment afterwards.

"We can confirm the parking charge notices have been removed and we're working to resolve this issue."

Translation: We have removed the tickets from the windscreen (before they get too damp) and have posted them to the patients address, and will be expecting payment promptly.

Thought for the Day

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?