Monday, 30 April 2012

Titanic 2 and Olympics

The Original Titanic - Hardly Used

Titannic Idea

Didn’t anyone say that History has a well know problem of repeating itself.  New Titanic 2 to be built after the newly released 3D Titanic film sank without trace.

And here we have a bloke with more money than sense saying that it won’t sink.  Hmmmmm, ok where have I heard that before????

Bond: “Vodka Martini, shaken and not stirred.”
(Bartender hands Bond his drink.)
Bond: “I said shaken dammit.”
Bartender: “Hold on Mr Bond, Iceberg dead ahead.”

 Olympic Idea

Well, the Olympic Games could well be more entertaining this time around me dears.

Is Team GB possibly attempting to introduce a new sport here me thinks?  Or is this a new form of keeping the crowds entertained in between events.

TV Presentor: "Well, that’s Canada winning the Gold for the Transvestite Cross-Dressage competition, and before we get to the medal ceremony, here’s a few missiles to keep you happy."

Commentator: "And they’re off………Shame that the Iraqi Scud missile was irratic, but no surprises that it missed by miles, and here’s the Hammas attempt………….whoops, brought down the Israeli Boeing 737 there.  They’ll be gutted by that. 

The Republic of Ireland now has it’s representative ready and waiting with a protective balaclava in place.  Oooh, multiple weapon-heads there laced with added semtex, purely for decorative effect it has to be said. Yep, Number 10 hit (bus that is) with several wayward off shoots.  I’m sure the judges will be deducting points for a sloppy job there.   

The North Koreans have launched theirs……oh, it’s failed less than twenty seconds into flight– the American’s are putting in a complaint for time wasting, but the North Koreans are insisting it was a successful launch of an extremely short-range missile. 

Here’s the Swiss attempt………hold on……..hold on……….steady as she goes……….hold on…………nope.  A dud then folks, seems they’re a bit reluctant in hitting any target for fear of hurting anyone’s feelings,  and the Americans…….errrmm…..the Americans……well now, there seems to be a slight technical hitch here ladies and gentlemen…..we keep getting this message…….."You have reached Team USA. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day."

Thought for the Day

I maybe a schizophrenic.....but at least we have each other

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