Funny News

Too Hot to Trot

Miss Odes

The lady in question, Miss Lauren Odes, got a right dressing down for being ‘hot’.  Surely those at fault would have been the individuals that appraised her at the job interview???

Odes was hired in April as a data entry worker for Native Intimates 

Maybe they should have a rethink of the company name and amend it to 'Intimately Naive'.

Maybe the Jewish men just got hot under the collar, or was that because Miss Odes was standing too close to them!!

German Town Name

You may call them thieves. But I think they’re f***ing useless that’s for sure.

A Boring Old Game?

A typical demostration

Not anymore it’s not.  You would be wrong for thinking that the organisers have come up with a new way to get more men to attend the European Championships but sadly, for them, it’s the topless activists of the Femen women's rights group who have secured two sparsely-furnished rooms in order to ‘get fit’ before launching into pre-emptive ‘assaults’ on the championships with a plethora of topless demonstrations.

“With a new operational base close to Kiev city centre, Femen has already fired its first shots.”

Really, didn’t know they had men working with them, as well as a spelling mistake in the article (Go on, F in Femen is replaced by another letter!!!).

But this could make for an interesting viewing at the end when the players are joined on pitch, after the match has finished, for shirt swapping.

Expect ticket sales to increase anyhow.  

Time to Pay Your Dues

Firstly, that's one way to go. 

KTSM television later reported that White suffered a heart attack while being entertained by the dancers.

Now, I don't know about you, but surely the dancer would have noticed something wrong here wouldn't

Lapdance sweetie?

you??

A manager of the club says employees tried to perform CPR on White but were unsuccessful.

I like to think it was out of the kindness of their hearts that they wished to revive him, and not due to the fact that he hadn't paid them yet!!

Give it your best shot

Well well. Talk about getting the some things straight. I'm certain that the Florida Planned Parenthood affiliate are making an up-standing contribution by encouraging openly the need for self expression in the masturbation arena.

Ejaculating their desires into the sandbox of public debate is all very well, but a expansion of the 'many health benefits' should be made also.

I know this is the Offical US National Masturbation Month, but I dread to think when the Unoffical celebrations are.  Daily???? So stand up and be counted.

Hmm, Hey Ho

So, a major DC cartoon super hero is to be outed as being, how can I put it, a peter-puffer.

A renaming maybe in order.

(Gay SH): "Hey ho - I'm...Butch. Wanna ride?"


Or worse still - "is it a bird, is it a plane.....Oh dear lord, it's a leotard mankini. Run for your lifes"

Thought of the Day

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Funny News - May 2012

Ok - An Awwww Moment

I only include it as the farm mentioned, Pennywell Farm, is situated in Devon, and isn't that far away from me, so when the need takes me, I will go along and have a nice slap up meal - sausages and mash, with strawberries and ice-cream to finish.




In your dreams

This gismo apparently allows the user to pre-determine what type of dreams they wish to have - no surprises for which this will be in red-bloodied single males.

However, instead of the $95 price tag, I would heartily recommend a cheaper alternative (below).

Rubbing people up the wrong way

A thought to ponder (other than the obvious or not so obvious) but by using the 'withdrawal' method, surely the video in question, was pulled because it was too popular??

Tree Hugging

Realisation dawns!!

If you're deperate for some relief of a sexual nature, please don't go to nature to get some sexual relief.  Alan Petrusson, a man of dubious intelligence decided to do just that, in the nearby park.

He apparantly tied himself spread-eagled to a tree.  Well, full marks on achieving that, because I wouldn't know how one can tie oneself to a tree, let alone spread-eagled, but pushing that to one side, it stands to reason that anyone wishing to spend quality time attached (semi-naked) to any tree, must be barking, and how anyone would wish to join him (presumably hip to hip) must also be out of their tree.

"A park visitor who spoke to CBS Minnesota was none too pleased to hear that the park is being used for public sex."

But the above quote must surely the scariest thing to emarge from the article for a number of reasons. The foremost being that the tree-tied man had sex????? Surely not!!!!  Scary.

Up All Night??

The young man, Lee Moore, having not only posted on the internet (via his twitter account), the recorded sounds from the noisy amorous couple, but agreed to a newspaper article being written about the affair, only now decides that he might have to deal with any revenge.

Good job he tried to hide his identity then......ooops!!




Oooops

Here you go dearie - Strimmer!!

Aww, bless her little cotton socks.  A little old lady thought  she had lost her husband's van.

Moral of the story - Get out more!!!  And cut some grass while you're at it.......preferably when you're untied from a tree!!!





Hard Up!!

Well, no wonder he can't afford to make any payments, he's too busy doing what he does best.

Thought for the Day

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?