Funny News - 22 June 2012

And proud of them!!

This guys got balls


In more ways than one.

"He suffers from high blood pressure and asthma. He can't urinate normally or have sex. He has daily bouts of depression."

Wesley Warren Jr in all his glory

Not surprised he's depressed if he can't have sex or wee normally, although it boggles the mind how exactly he does relieve himself (oooh, an naughty entendre - smacks wrist).







Quick to consumate

Boy, oh boy.  Getting married simply has to be one of the best experiences in life, and the groom in this instance surely couldn't wait to get down to the nitty-gritty, fun side of the marriage.

Yep, he was so randy, he got down and dirty.......but not with the bride.

Wooops!!!

Oh no, he got off with the waitress, and was only found out when his father-in-law popped into the kitchen for a quickie....(a snack that is - really!!!).

Still, the grooms got it all sussed.  After the divorce was settled, he's since gotten married to that waitress.

Bet she had to keep an eye on him at the wedding reception!!

Sex Education

Boys will be boys, and in an all-boys school, this is exactly what they did - only trouble was, they did it in class.

The paper has obtained and reviewed testimonials written by 22 students in the class.

 Really!!! Thought they all had their hands full!!

 The teacher has not replied to a newspaper request for comment but a union representative is rallying support for him.

Indeed - the union are instructing that all of it's members be upstanding in their support of him, and have advised him to give it his best shot!!


Having a crush on you

So popular was the offer (£220 of groceries if naked) that the store manager decided to limit the number of naked customers to batches of 20 to avoid crushing.

Me thinks he just wanted to perv at the flesh on show for that little bit longer.


.

America all Lit up

Powerful

Ok, it's sure is darn pretty to see the US of A all lit up in many a different colous and you can't help but wonder as the beauty of it, and the amazement when you realise that it's a 'map' of various factors, all done via the wonders of GPS.

I just think that, someone, somewhere, is watching you as you happily travel across town to the next fling whilst you're partner is blissfully unaware of your shinanigans.

Big Brother is watching you???  Oh yeah, well thanks to the wonders of TV and the internet, so will everyone else on the planet.

Quackers

Want flied lice with that?

The farmer is mad.  Chinese as well, but definitely mad.  Here in the UK, we drivers get fed up when you come accross the cows, being herded from one side of the road to the other for milking time.  It's a pain to be sure, but I'd rather watch the little feathered birds merrily dash about.

"According to the farmer, he regularly drives his ducks through the city and, despite the large numbers involved, says he has never lost a duck during the journey."

You mean to say he counts them all after he's herded them hither and thither??

4,996.....4,997......4,998......oh!!  Two crispy duck au van missing!!!  But is tasted luvely!!

But then, the report never said he was a chinese restauant delivery service!!!

Thought for the Day

What was the best thing before sliced bread?